The Most Shameless Mankind

Allah, I know I didn't deserve to say this, but I beg you, I kneel, I wish for your cherish and mercy. 

Allah, please, I know that everything we dreamed about, everything we wished for, everything we hoped are something that should be struggled, something that really need hard effort to get to. 

But...

I truly believe your The Almighty, The Most Greatest, The Most Richest, The Most Prayer Bearer. 

You're the one who can granted all wish. You can all make everything happened in just instant moment. 

Dear Allah, 

I know some of mankind get the glorious mercy and luxurious privilege from you in their life here in the world. 

You pour them with happiness, wealth, perfect relation, clear attention from people, brilliant and smart mind. They got those by instance. When they were born, You provide them with those privilege and they use them without any mistakes and error. They use them correctly, align the rules.

Allah, I know I'm a sinner. I didn't deserve to beg this. 

But, please Allah, would you pour me with those privilege in the year ahead? 

You gave me "difficult" past time. So sorry, but what should I call, when I was born, I have a broken family, I have an NPD dad, the situation getting harder years by years. I thought when I got married everything will be better, but then you gave me the biggest and hardest life test. I almost couldn't bear it Allah. I almost failed.

But, I hope this time, I passed the test, though still got that big wound inside my soul.

Allah, please, for the sake of my children, give me the easy years in the future. 

I know, that this world is not the place for having fun, I know that this test can lead me to the brightest and the most perfect place there in the hereafter, but, I just can't stand again with this.

Please, for my children, make it easy in the future, and hopefully that ease can lead us, my family, to the highest heaven.

Please, Allah, I beg...

The wound is getting painful...