A Letter from Far Far Away Land

Dear you, 

I want you to know about something that I've been hidden for couple years. 

I'm so afraid telling you about this. At first, I'm afraid you leave me. 

But, Allah knew, I did a big mistake. I've been lying to you all, then He revealed the truth. The truth that made you leave me, the truth that made you hurt so bad, the truth that made you hate me. 

Dear you, 

I was grown up in a complicated family. My mom left me when I was a kid. My dad got married again. Me and my siblings then have step sisters and brother. 

Can you imagine how many children that should be afforded, while he was just a lower lever military member? So we got financial problem. Our economic condition wasn't good. 

He's a military member, that's why he's very tough to us his children. Not tough actually, but he's so rude. Everytime we did mistakes, he hit us, punched us, grounded us physically. I'm so sorry, I imitated what he did, when I'm angry to you. 

Dear you, 

Let say, that I'm a man from a broken family. Then, I met your mom. He's so motherly woman. I found sincere love with her. We got married, though her dad was so hard to accept me. But, day by day, finally we got approval from her family. 

Our marriage ran well in the first year. Then you came. Your sisters, and your brother. 

Then the first wave came to hit our marriage. At that time I have to work out of the town. I found someone who made me like a lovey dovey bird. I was a bastard. I knew I broke you all. 

Sorry, dear... 

I was blind. I married her and hid it from you and your mom. 

I was a coward. I did mistake. I wanted to confess it. But, I was afraid you leave. 

No matter how, my biggest love is for you and your mom. 

But, I know, you wouldn't believe it. 

Who will believe a liar, right? 

Day by day, year by year, we come to the end decision. We're seperated. Oh, no. I didn't seperate with you. I seperated with your mom. But, I wouldn't seperate with you my children. 

Dear you, 

Have you ever find me? 

After the dramatic goodbye we made, I know you didn't want to meet me again. 

But, my dear, please believe me this time, I always miss you all. 

Sincerely, 

Your (not) best dad